One year ago today I woke up feeling like a household rag refashioned from old underpants, which had been used to clean out an ashtray. Yep, I felt that good. I couldn’t get out of bed, and anywhere not reachable within an arm length was simply too far. This was my last hangover. The hangover... Continue Reading →

When I started this blog series I was trying to work my way through sobriety, and I felt like writing would help, and it did. Now I’m eight months into the journey, and I feel more settled in this new phase of my life. I’m not saying it’s easy now, as it’s definitely not. I... Continue Reading →

One of the harder things about not boozing is finding a drink that isn’t packed full of sugar to partake in during social events. It can be such a bore having to walk around all night with a mineral water and lime, or worse still, a glass of plain water, especially when previously the only... Continue Reading →

Over the last 7 months I have noticed I have let my exercise and healthy eating routine slip significantly. I don’t think it is the non boozing, I think it is my job. I find it stressful, and all-consuming, and by the time I get home from work I feel about as motivated as a... Continue Reading →

The other night I went to an engagement party. My partner is a groomsmen so it was one of those need-to-go situations. This is also one of those events where you know there will be bucket loads of booze and that I, sober Gertrude, will be one of the few people not drinking. Usually these... Continue Reading →

I’ve attended Vulcana Women’s Circus for over seven years now. It’s the sort of place you’d join after suffering a nasty breakup or the death of a loved one, or a bout of depression. Essentially it’s where you’d go if you wanted to run away to join the circus. Mine wasn’t quite so dramatic: it... Continue Reading →

In my boozer days the first thing I would think about when I had a weekend night at home alone was to crack a bottle of wine. I would enjoy the fact I wasn’t going out with friends as then I could drink freely at home without judgement or any of that pesky waiting for... Continue Reading →

Emotions can be a bitch but without them we wouldn’t be human so I guess you’ve just got to find a way to deal with them. Ever since I was a teenager I’d used the ancient technique of drunkenness to alleviate the symptoms of human feelings. It was quite simple: at the moment of afflicted... Continue Reading →

The first day of spring was hazy. The air, not my head. This time. Things have changed a lot since last spring. The mild heat in the air reminded me that soon I would require less covering, and should really set about sorting out the thin layer of blubber that encased my body at the moment,... Continue Reading →